WE'VE JOINED THE GERIATRIC CLUB,
AND WE ARE HERE TO STAY,
THE CUPBOARDS IN OUR BATHROOM,
GET FULLER EVERY DAY.
WITH PILLS THE DOCTOR'S GIVEN US,
VITAMINS AND POTIONS,
CREAMS TO EASE OUR CREAKY JOINTS,
AND DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOTIONS.
THERE'S PILLS FOR INDIGESTION,
FLATULENCE, AND GOUT,
THE LADY AT THE HEALTH STORE TOLD US,
WE CAN'T DO WITHOUT.
WE'VE STARTED TAKING Q10,
TO MAKE OUR HEARTS BEAT STRONGER.
GUARANTEED, THE LABEL SAYS,
TO MAKE OUR LIVES LAST LONGER.
GLUCOSAMINE WITH MSM,
CALCIUM AND NIACIN.
POTASSIUM AND GINSENG,
AND EVERY KIND OF VITAMIN.
WE'VE BOTH GOT HIGH CHOLESTEROL,
AND NOW WE'RE TRYING TO DIET.
LOT'S OF FRUIT AND VEGGIES,
IF IT WORKS WE'RE GONNA TRY IT.
WE BRUSH WITH FLUORIDE EVERY DAY,
FOR HEALTHY TEETH AND GUMS.
WE'RE USING ' PREPARATION H, '
TO EASE OUR TENDER BUMS.
THERE'S APPLE CIDER VINEGAR,
IT'S THE LATEST THING TO TAKE,
IT HEALS A MULTITUDE OF ILLS,
BUT GIVES YOU BELLY ACHE.
WE'VE JOINED OUR LOCAL HEALTH CLUB
AND NOW WE'RE LIFTING WEIGHTS.
WE'VE STARTED WALKING EVERY DAY,
AND USING ROLLER SKATES.
LORD GOD WE PRAY THAT WHAT WE DO,
WILL GIVE US SATISFACTION.
IF WE SHOULD FALL AND BREAK OUR NECKS,
WE'LL BOTH END UP IN TRACTION.
WE'RE TAKING GINKGO FOR OUR BRAINS,
TO KEEP US BOTH ALERT.
AND ECHINACEA STOPS THE FLU,
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT WE'VE HEARD.
WE'VE BOTH GOT LEAKY WATERWORKS,
OUR KNEES AND HIPS ARE SORE.
BUT WHEN THIS BATCH OF PILLS RUNS OUT,
WE'LL GO AND BUY SOME MORE.
WHO CARES IF WE ARE OLDER NOW,
WE'VE REACHED THAT GOLDEN MILE.
WE'RE LOOKING TEN YEARS YOUNGER,
SO CAN FACE LIFE WITH A SMILE.
OUR VITAMINS WILL KEEP US HEALTHY,
EVERY PASSING DAY.
WE'VE JOINED THE GERIATRIC CLUB,
AND WE ARE HERE TO STAY.
Judi Whittaker
copyright 2001
